9/30/2013 anxiety

I often find myself not dealing well with anxiety. I sometimes wake up at night with an unreasonable "overwhelmed" feeling, but it goes away.

At school it hits more and more when I just don't want to be in front if people. I'd live to chat, blog, email my response to issues and not stutter my way thru an answer.

So, stuttering, it seems to be one of the main reasons I'd love to do something other than teach. Unfortunately those second careers that I consider require actual communication ... Or do they?

Writing .... I've done only a little of it. An article here and there, some mass email things for fantasy football and probably more. I wonder if there's a place in it for me?

First day

I'm 54 years old. I hope that I am in my last year of public school teaching. This blog, at this time is simply a place to put my thoughts, to see if something evolves. Do I hate teaching? no, Am I not good at it? A bit more complex. I'm a bit of a fraud at the technical aspects but seem to have skills at motivating high school kids.

My oldest son, Nic recently shared that even though he is nearing the end of an arduous medical training, he doubts if he'll be in the field in 10-15 years. Seems like a waste!

I don't want to be a bitter old ineffective teacher in 10 years. At least I don't want to have done nothing to make things better including prayer, so step one is just that.

Father God you know my passions and abilities better than I. You also know who needs me in their life. I pray that you will reveal to me the place you have for me, open my eyes and Laurie's as well. We look forward to the way you'll lead us. Amen