Outliving a student

They say that outliving a child or a spouse is one of the worst things that a person should have to endure. I think I believe that. Outliving a good friend or close family member is another tough one (but probably not as tough as outliving a dog) Well, it looks like I've outlived another student. This has happened before but it doesn't make it easy. I at least could face my students and give them some words without turning into a sobbing mess. What did I say, you ask? something like this. "Well, today is going to suck. Welcome to the worst day of the year at SBHS (I hope)We're going to talk a little and then sing a little. Here is the facts. Brandon Delzer was killed in a car accident last night. There was another person in the vehicle but they don't appear to be seriously hurt. I don't know the specifics of the accident and it doesn't really matter, one of us is no longer here. There are counselors just down the hall and a place to hug someone and fix your makeup. Take advantage of that if you need to. So, I remember the last time something like this happened in my world. I was one of the youth sponsors for my church. Kirk was tragically killed and it shook us all up a lot. We wonder why he was taken and not us. The words that God gave me that day for my students was something like, "I don't think we will ever know why Kirk was taken, it seems pointless, he seemed to have a lot to give, we loved him, but the fact is, he's gone." It seems really obvious to say it outloud, but the important part of all this is that we are all still here. Maybe you don't know your life purpose at this time but I'm convinced that you have one. Someone in this room might cure cancer, write the perfect love song, or just smile at someone who needed one smile to keep them facing their life that seems unbearable. That person might be you. Continue looking for your purpose, mission, ministry, whatever. Grieving is going to be different for everyone, I want you to be ok with how you are feeling. Some of you might have had a horrible 20 minutes when you found out that Brandon was killed and then you took a deep breath and seemed ok, some of you are about to have a pretty crappy week. Sometimes you might feel all ok and then something will trigger a memory and you'll not be ok for awhile. It's also important to be ok. Don't feel weird when some of your friends are still a mess when you've gotten over it. We'll be ok, some of us are ok now, some of us will be ok by the weekend, some of us will gradually become ok over the next few weeks, but we'll be ok. (Ugh, let's not do this again!)